YOGA HOSERS

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YOGA HOSERS

GTAHater
IF YOU WERE UPSET THAT KEVIN SMITH’S PREVIOUS FILM, TUSK, LOST THE WORST OF 2014 RAZZIE QUARTERFINALS, THEN I HOPE YOU’LL JOIN ME IN ROOTING FOR THE NEXT ENTRY IN SMITH’S “TRUE NORTH” TRILOGY FOR OUR AWARDS. STARRING SMITH, JOHNNY DEPP, AND THEIR DAUGHTERS (BOTH BORN IN THE SPRING OF ‘999), YOGA HOSERS FEATURES THE GIRLS AS TEENAGE YOGA AFICIONADOS WORKING A JOB AFTER SCHOOL AT A CONVENIENCE STORE IN CENTRAL CANADA. CANADA’S CRUST BREAKS ASUNDER AND ANCIENT, EVIL MONSTERS POUR OUT THAT EMBODY GERMAN SAUSAGES HYBRIDIZED WITH NAZI SOLDIERS. IF THE MEAT SATCHELS SUCCEED IN THEIR PLOT, BOTH GIRLS, NAMED COLLEEN, MAY GET THEIR INVITATION TO A BIG SENIOR PARTY REVOKED. THEIR GREATEST ALLY MAY BE A MONTREALESE MANHUNTER.

CRITICS ARE CALLING YOGA HOSERS THE WORST FILM SMITH HAS DIRECTED SINCE COP OUT (BOTTOM 40 FILMS OF ‘010), BECAUSE DESPITE LILY-ROSE DEPP’S AND HARLEY QUINN-SMITH’S ENERGY, THERE IS NO DISCIPLINE, MODESTY, OR SUBTLETY (IRONIC BECAUSE OF ITS RECURRING SOUTH ASIAN SPIRITUALITY MOTIFS), THE FILM FAILS ON BOTH THE HORROR AND COMEDY GENRE FRONTS, AND THERE SEEMS TO BE NO AMBITION OR JUSTIFICATION IN MAKING THIS FILM. IT’S ESPECIALLY IRRITATING THAT THIS HAD TO MARK KEVIN SMITH’S NADIR, AND HIS CAREER HAS LOST ALL FORESEEABLE HOPE.

BUT DON’T LET ME TAKE HOCKEY STICK SWINGS AT YOGA HOSERS ALONE! IF YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER POINTS TO BRING UP THAT WILL ENABLE THIS TO DO BETTER THAN TUSK IN OUR AWARDS, STRIKE THE WII FIT TRAINER’S FINAL BLOW ON YOGA HOSERS BELOW!
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Re: YOGA HOSERS

Vits
R.T. (20-25%): "Undisciplined, unfunny, and bereft of evident purpose, the film represents a particularly grating low point in Kevin Smith's once-promising career."

William Bibbiani's video review.

Chris Bumbray's video review.
Follow me on Twitter @Vits_Chile
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Re: YOGA HOSERS

oiram
In reply to this post by GTAHater
Don't you now wish we had Worst New Star back? The daughters of Smith and Depp would be shoe-ins.
Worst Actor - Johnny Depp (Just imagine the cruel irony of winning for the role that original got him his first Oscar nom.)

Worst Actress - Katherine Heigl (SHE MUST WIN!)

Worst Supporting Actor - Anthony Hopkins (If he is nominated, he'll break a Razzie record. If he wins, he'll break TWO records!)

Worst Supporting Actress - Kim Basinger (Basically in this movie because 9 1/2 Weeks, her first Razzie nomination.)

Worst Supporting Actress (nom) - Marcia Gay Harden (Jane Seymour got a nomination for the parody version of the role, so why not the real thing?)
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