Greg McLean's THE DARKNESS

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Greg McLean's THE DARKNESS

GTAHater
KEVIN BACON HAS HAD A FEW GEMS SINCE THE NEW MILLENNIUM BEGAN, SUCH AS MYSTIC RIVER, THE WOODSMAN, FROST/NIXON, X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, AND (DEBATABLY) BLACK MASS. HE’S ALSO HAD ONE CRITICAL DIRT-MOUND EARLIER THIS DECADE, R.I.P.D. IF A FESTERING 5% APPROVAL RATING AT ROTTEN TOMATOES, SAYS ANYTHING, THE BACON IS GETTING A LOT MORE SOGGY AND MASHY WITH ONE OF THE YEAR’S MOST GENERICALLY NAMED BAD FILMS, “THE DARKNESS.”

AFTER A FAMILY TAKES A TRIP TO ARIZONA’S GRAND CANYON, THE PREADOLESCENT SON SWIPES 5 OR SO FORBIDDEN STONES FROM A SACRED MONUMENT. LITTLE DOES HE KNOW THAT SNEAKING THESE ROCKS BACK HOME WOULD ATTRACT SUPERNATURAL ENTITIES TO THE HOUSE LIKE A BEACON. FROM THERE, THE DARKNESS CHECKS OFF DOORS OPENING BY THEMSELVES, LIGHTS TURNING ON AND OFF WITHOUT SOMEONE FLICKING THE SWITCH, AND INDEED EVERY SUPERNATURAL HORROR CLICHÉ. THE STRANGE THINGS THE SON DOES TO INTERACT WITH THESE SPIRITS (WHICH THE SCRIPT CAN’T REALLY DECIDE WHETHER HE CONSIDERS THEM FRIENDS) WOULD ORDINARILY INFURIATE EVERYONE AROUND HIM, AND THEY’D OTHERWISE NIP THOSE STRANGE MOVES IN THE BUD. THE ONLY REASON THEY LET IT HAPPEN? THE FAMILY SAYS IT FIGURES SIMPLY BECAUSE HE’S AUTISTIC! IT SEEMS HORROR IS THE GENRE WITH THE GREATEST RISK FOR GROSSLY OFFENDING CINEMA GOERS IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE AFTER ALL!

TO BACON’S CREDIT, A FEW MAJOR PLAYERS IN THE CAST TRIED THEIR BEST AND PUT OUT PASSABLE-TO-MEDIOCRE PERFORMANCES, WHICH MEANS THE ACTING CATEGORIES ARE RULED OUT. ITS MOST FITTING CATEGORY WOULD LIKELY BE WORST SCREENPLAY, BUT THE COMPETITION SEEMS TOO INTENSE. BUT FOR NOW, THE DARKNESS IS THE WORST NEW THING IN THEATRES, SO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEND IT INTO DARK OBLIVION BELOW!
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Re: Greg McLean's THE DARKNESS

Vits
It'lls stay around 5% in R.T. without a consensus.

Jeremy Jahns' review.
Follow me on Twitter @Vits_Chile
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