COLLATERAL BEAUTY

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COLLATERAL BEAUTY

GTAHater
FOR THE PAST DECADE PLUS, SEVERAL YEARS HAVE HAD ONE PECULIAR TYPE OF FILM FOR A QUARTERFINALIST FOR OUR AWARDS: A MISERABLY FAILED ATTEMPT AT TAILORING A FILM TO WIN AWARDS AT ALL THE MAJOR BEST-OF-THE-YEAR SHOWS. SOME CASES IN POINT INCLUDE MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA IN 2005, ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE IN 2007, NOBEL SON IN 2008, AMELIA IN 2009, THE TOURIST IN 2010, MADONNA’S W./E. IN 2011-012, WINNIE MANDELA IN 2013, AND BY THE SEA IN 2015. THIS YEAR, OUR OBLIGATORY OSCAR BAITER IS… COLLATERAL BEAUTY, WITH AN ENSEMBLE CAST LED BY WILL SMITH AND HELEN MIRREN. OSCAR BAITERS RARELY MAKE IT FAR IN THE RAZZIE RACE, BUT IF YOU’RE FRUSTRATED WITH THE SMITH FAMILY, CHANCES ARE YOU HOPE THIS AUTUMN WILL BE DIFFERENT.

A SUCCESSFUL EXECUTIVE AT A NEW YORKISH ADVERTISING FIRM FALLS BACK INTO A SELF-CONTAINED WORLD IN HIS OWN IMAGINATION WHEN GREAT TRAGEDY STRIKES HIM. HIS DAUGHTER IS SUDDENLY KILLED! AS IS EXPECTED, HIS FRIENDS GET WORRIED ABOUT HIM, TRY TO REACH HIM, AND LOSE. HE ENDS UP WRITING LETTERS TO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS SIMILAR TO EROS, KRONOS, AND THANATOS, THE GREEK DEITIES OF LOVE, TIME, AND DEATH. WHEN A SURROGATE (UNFORTUNATELY NOT AS COOL AS A MEDIUM TO THE DEITIES WOULD BE) WRITES SOME RESPONSES BACK TO HIM, HE FINALLY REALIZES THAT AFTER LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST, MANY CONSTANT TRENDS INTERLOCK, AND FROM THE ASHES OF THE DEEPEST LOSS CAN RISE BEAUTY AND MEANING.

…OR SO THE TRAILER SAYS! THE REAL PLOT IS REVEALED IN THE FIRST 1/3 HOUR OF RUN TIME, AND WHILE IT’S DEBATABLE WHETHER THIS NEXT PART IS A SPOILER, THERE’S NO DOUBT THAT THE MARKETERS BILKED US! THE REAL STORY INVOLVES HIS COWORKERS TELLING 3 ACTORS TO DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS EROS, KRONOS, AND THANATOS, WHO THEN TALK TO WILL SMITH IN THE ILLUSION OF HELPING HIM RECONCILE HIS GRIEF. INSTEAD, THOSE TREACHEROUS BACKSTABBERS HE MISTOOK FOR FRIENDS PLAN TO EDIT THOSE 3 DEITIES-IN-THE-FLESH OUT OF THE FOOTAGE, MAKE SMITH’S CHARACTER LOOK SCHIZOPHRENIC, AND CON SOMEONE INTO COMMITTING HIM TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL JUST TO GET HIM OUT OF THE WAY WHEN HIS MOODINESS STARTS DESTROYING THE COMPANY. JUST HOW BAD ARE THEY AT SOLVING A PROBLEM? MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW CAN THEY JUSTIFY TOYING WITH MENTAL HEALTH TO GET SOMEONE FALSELY COMMITTED?

THE SECOND WORST WEEPER OF THE YEAR NEXT TO “THE CHOICE” FROM BACK IN FEBRUARY, IT CARRIES THAT OBVIOUS OSCAR-BAITER FEEL, THE CHARACTER DESIGNS ARE ONLY SUPERFICIALLY BEAUTIFUL, AND THE ENSEMBLE CAST IS QUITE A BIT OVERQUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB. BUT DON’T LET ME OFFER UP COLLATERAL BEAUTY TO THE DEITIES OF HARVEST AND WILD RAZZIE FRUITS AS COLLATERAL ALONE. IF YOU CAN ARGUE FOR WHY IT SHOULD TAKE THE LEAD FOR THE RAZZIES AT THE LAST MINUTE, MAKE THE SITUATION GET UGLY ON COLLATERAL BEAUTY BELOW!
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Re: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

oiram
Jahns review.

Stuckmann review.
Worst Actor - Matt Damon (nom) (Been called uninteresting and is also accused of promoting a white savior movie. Also since his buddy Ben Affleck has been nominated multiple times, why not him?), Johnny Depp (Just imagine the cruel irony of winning for the role that original got him his first Oscar nom.), Jamie Dornan (nom) (Won for the role last time, need I say more?), Tom Hanks (nom) (He managed to avoid a nom for decades, BurnHollywoodBurn from years back even described him as "Un-Razz-able", but considering how much of a let down The Circle was and how he didn't bring much to it, maybe his time is now. Plus, he'd be interesting to nominate, and it's be weird to have Watson and not him too.), Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (nom)(Not only did his movie pretty much flop, but he ends up complaining about the criticism on Twitter! Plus, he's been nominated before and Jumanji doesn't look so hot either.), and Mark Wahlberg (nom) (If this is his last "hurrah" in the Transformers movies, maybe he should get a nom as extra motivation to stay away. Marky Mark doesn't want to become a repeat offender, does he?)

Worst Actress - Katherine Heigl (SHE MUST WIN!), Scarlett Johansson (nom) (Starred in two box-office bombs, one of them with the stigma of whitewashing. Plus it'd be interesting to have her.), Dakota Johnson (nom) (Won for the role last time, need I say more?), Milla Jovovich (nom) (Considering that the last outing got her a nom, maybe she'll receive another one.), Amy Schumer (nom) (Not only has her humor been described as getting scale and one-note, but she's been labeling any criticisms of that as "evil conservatives" to try and dismiss them, and now this led up a movie that is not so well received for many reasons, not the least of which being that she did not bring the funny, and did pretty poorly at the box-office.), and Emma Watson (nom) (While starring in, at this point, the highest grossing movies of the year, she also stars in one of the biggest disappointments of the year. Could be something to pounce on.)

Worst Supporting Actor - Javier Bardem (nom) (He does not lend much to the movie he stars in, and the special effects on him make his performance look worse!), Anthony Hopkins (If he is nominated, he'll break a Razzie record. If he wins, he'll break TWO records!), Eric Johnson (nom) (Basically used to make Christian Grey look less bad by comparison!), Ben Kingsley (nom) (Not only a Razzie repeat offender, but his character in Collide keeps watching the Razzie nominated movie Perfect and keeps talking almost creepily about Razzie perennial Burt Reynolds!), Rob Lowe (nom) (Previously won a Razzie in this category, why not nominate him again if he's going to appear in films like Monster Trucks.), and John Turturro (nom) (He has made the ballots for the Transformers movies before, but always gets shut out. Maybe this will be his chance at a nom.)

Worst Supporting Actress - Kim Basinger (Basically in this movie because 9 1/2 Weeks, her first Razzie nomination.), Faye Dunaway (nom) (Razzie perennial Dunaway is attempting to make a big comeback, but starting off with The Bye Bye Man, not to mention being a part of the Best Picture flub at the Oscars, things do not look good for her.), Laura Haddock (nom) (She seems to be a good actress, but when put into a Bay movie where she has to look pretty while being a scientist, Star-Lord's mom cannot pull it off.), Marcia Gay Harden (nom) (Jane Seymour got a nomination for the parody version of the role, so why not the real thing?), Goldie Hawn (nom) (Making her big-screen comeback in Snatched... a movie which stunk and she stunk in it, a surefire way to receive a second nom in this category.), and Isabela Moner (nom) (Comes off as a preachy character, more than likely going to annoy some.)

Worst Director - Michael Bay (nom) (Going to go down in history as the most Razzie nominated director thanks to these Transformers movies. I would not be surprised if he wins.), James Foley (Previous Razzie nominee has returned after about three decades to director the sequel to the Razzie winning Fifty Shades of Grey. I'd say he has this in the bag.), Alex Kurtzman (nom) (Speaking of Transformers, one of the Razzie winning writers of the first and second one tried to start a cinematic universe, and boy howdy, did it get off to a rocky start!), Guy Ritchie (nom) (Speaking of cinematic universes, previous Razzie winner and husband of Madonna tried to start one too, and man did it turn out messy!), Chris Wedge (nom) (Going from animation to live-action and came out with a write-off... yeah...), and Zhang Yimou (nom) (Even with his stylized directing, he could not make the characters interesting, or those lizard creatures look convincing.)
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Re: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

Vits
This post was updated on .
In reply to this post by GTAHater
R.T. (15%): "Well-meaning but fundamentally flawed, the film aims for uplift but collapses in unintentional hilarity."

Richard Roeper's review.

Peter Travers's review.

Chris Bumbray's review.

WHAT THE FLICK?!'s video review.
Follow me on Twitter @Vits_Chile
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Re: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

Tsarstepan
In reply to this post by GTAHater
I haven't seen it yet but I heard on a movie film podcast the particularly important plotline (the hired actors scheme) that's not in the trailer that really makes this one look even worse than I expected.


I think I may have gotten cancer of the soul just by watching the trailer alone.  I will have to wait until it comes to DVD at the library before viewing as I don't want the studio or Will Smith to get any direct money from me.

At least, it has one of the worst literal titles of 2016.
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Re: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

Vits
This post was updated on .
Gabriel Bahamondes (3/7): "Beyond Will Smith's adequate performance, it's Helen Mirren who's in charge of giving the movie a loveable and endearing tone. From the moment she appears on screen, the movie starts making sense and makes it clear that, behind that exagerated and tear-inducing cloak, there are a couple of interesting ideas."

Ernesto Garratt V. (2/5): "Basic and without complexity in its simplistic essence, this movie is like walking through a field of recently-peeled onions: The burst of tears is caused by textbook situations that leave great actors like Kate Winslet, Edward Norton or Helen Mirren mostly repeating mushy, self-help dialogue. However, inside its heart, it's a well-intentioned story whose flaws can be forgiven."
Follow me on Twitter @Vits_Chile
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Re: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

Tsarstepan
In reply to this post by GTAHater
Dishonorable mention (and possible new category) inspired by unseen Collateral Beauty.

Worst (literal) Title of 2016.
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Re: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

Razzies are the Worst
In reply to this post by GTAHater
Just Saying: On the 'ahem' ballot just released, there are THREE (acclaimed) actresses (Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren, and Keira Knightley) on the shortlist for Worst Supporting Actress, yet NO ONE in the CB cast (including Edward Norton and Michael Pena) was listed for Worst Supporting Actor... #RazziesSoSexist
The 2016 Razzies ballot/nominee list were the WORST EVER! #firejohnbwilson
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